On the 27 August 2009 I will receive my GCSE examination results. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous – I am. It’s been an uphill struggle for the last two years, learning not only all the material for the ten or so subjects I was taking, but also practicing the examination technique. On top of that, several subjects have required coursework (not something I enjoy or am particularly good at. Unlike some people) which has varied between dissecting Romeo and Juliet and studying the CBD of Gloucester.

My overwhelming fear is that after so much effort, some of the subjects that I struggled with (I’m looking at you Maths and French) won’t receive the results that I feel I deserve. The whole idea of an exam is strange really, how is a two hours really meant to gleam what you learnt from two years of work – I wish there was a better way.

It’s a very strange feeling, looking back at a single exam. It seems that the inevitable question that I didn’t understand, or in reflection know I got wrong, shines through. Rather than all those areas that I feel I nailed.

I wait with eager anticipation for August 27. For better or for worst. I’ll know where I stand.

One of my goals for 2009 was to become more proficient at web design on the whole. And I have made strides in the last few months, but I’m not in a position yet to be happy with my work. A few of you may have noticed that for the last couple of weeks, the design of the site did change.

In that case, it was my own design. However, I wasn’t satisfied with final version, so I pulled it. I learnt a lot about the design process and have taken a lot away from it. But the end result just wasn’t good enough. It was a mistake to put it up there, it didn’t make me feel proud of my content and nor did it really inspire me to create something new.

So for now, I’m going to be using a WordPress theme that I purchased off Theme Forest – a great resouce for various website templates. Derek Herman has created a beautiful theme that makes great use of large text. You may find it a little overwhelming and first. But trust me, you’ll soon warm up to it.

One thing to bear in mind, is that I’ve decided to step back from link list entries for now. I’d really like this place to be somewhere where people come to read articles rather than links specifically. And due to this, posts that were originally asides before the new design, will look just like regular posts.

Any anyways, it seems all the cool kids are using Tumblr, so maybe I’ll jump on the bandwagon at some point.

Furthermore, there are still comments. Although, I think it’s great that if you have something to say in response to something I’ve written, it’s most of the time a great idea to publish your thoughts on your own terms. I understand that the convenience of a comment is what a lot of people are looking for.

So, if you’re reading with an RSS reader, come on round, and take a look. I’ve rewritten my very uninteresting Colophon and just tidied up a few elements of the site. If you see a bug or two, please drop me a line.

I’m bored. Really, really bored. Over the last few months I have watched people leave college and start working; sometimes for themselves, and often for others. I’ve also watched people become redundant and, if you’re trying to look at the positive side of things, they now have had the slate wiped clean – an infinite number of opportunities now available to them.

While all that has been happening, I, on the other hand, have been stuck in the classroom, exam hall and my room – doing homework. I don’t know what I really want to do in life – but I know what I don’t want to do. Put up with this seemingly endless bombardment of useless information for another minute.

But I do.

Why? Because at the end of the day I know that the harder I work, the more effort that I put into my education, I am widening my horizons, and when one doesn’t know what they want to do in life. That’s very reassuring to know.

Right now, I’m at the point when I’m looking into Universities and I’m not sure what to do. Every single person I talk to tells me that I must go to University, and I know why they say that – it’s just what’s ‘done’.

However, there is this voice in the back of my head asking me if I can really bare an extra four years of education – useful or not. I see the rational direction in which to go in. But yet, against everything my head is telling me – my instinct, just wants me to get out there and start doing something with my life.

So in the mean time, before I really have to start choosing Universities and what else I want to do; I’d better get back to digging my hole.

First things first. Happy new year!

2008 has been a very busy year for me, and I’m sorry to say that I didn’t get as far with it as possible. There were far more highs than there were lows – but just a few to many for me to be satisfied. Having said that, I’ve learnt a lot and am looking forward to starting the year afresh with a new set of challenges and goals so I can get the most out of 2009.

It’s all very well choosing resolutions that say; “Buy insert product name here”, and I do have a set of things that I’d like to be able to purchase over the coming year. But is that really a goal? I’ve also tried to be slightly vague, by doing so I might be able to accomplish these goals in ways I didn’t initially conceive. That’s very important to me, because I know that, inevitably, I’ll be trying new things of the next year. If I have to focus on a set of tasks I’ll never branch out.

So, without further ado, here is what I would like to accomplish in 2009:

Become as proficient as possible at web design and creation
Ah web design, you’ve been the bane of my existence for quite a while. I’m always having great, if you don’t mind me saying so myself, ideas for website designs but just don’t have the skills to put them into place. This coming year I want to put a lot of my time into creating projects for myself that will allow me to gain more experience, whether it be fully fledged Wordpress themes or just a simple website, with no CSS.

The ability to transfer my ideas from my head to Photoshop and then a fully functional website would be a godsend. I’m always incredibly jealous of those capable of doing so, and I want in.

Continue to produce and increase the quality of the content on this, my weblog
Finally, I feel great about the direction my blog has taken. I don’t feel that pressure to write any new posts when I don’t have anything to say, and I think that the quality of what I have been producing has indeed increased (though, you may disagree with me there).  But I want to be better, much better. I write for myself, that’s important to me, and I won’t be happy until I feel that ever word I have written is a perfect representation of my thoughts and feelings. I still have a long way to go in expressing myself fully in writing.

Receive good results from my GCSE examinations
I’m by no means a particularly smart person, the only thing I’ve got on my side is that teachers tend to like me, a lot. But unfortunately that’s not particularly helpful when it comes to exams. Which is why I’m going to be pulling out all the stops to get some satisfactory results in my GCSE exams in June. In England they are a very big deal, and affect your future choices at what you might want to do at A Level.

Having said that, if every time I leave the exam hall I can say I did my best. I’d like to think I’d be happy with my results. I just hope that comes into fruition.

Finally, enter the realm of photography
I mean it this time. I swear. For a long while I’ve been trying to focus a lot more of my time into digital photography. I just never quite get there. Now this goal does actually involve a purchase, in this case my own DSLR. I’ve just been using my dad’s for that last year or so. But I can say safely, that this will be the year.

I also want to dedicate a lot more time to photography, I plan on going out a lot more often with the goal of taking photos and improving my skills. I am however, slightly worried that my MacBook Air won’t be able to handle some of the editing. We will see…

Budgeting Better
Unfortunately, I have a bit of a cavalier attitude to money, not having to pay for anything that I don’t want happens to be the main reason. So this year I’m looking at putting a lot more of my money into a savings account that I recently set up. I’ll be adding to the pot every month. I’ll also be budgeting how much I buy on iTunes and Amazon – the two biggest culprits.

I’m looking forward to 2009 and what it holds, I’ll be sticking this post up on my wall and hopefully it will inspire me every time I feel a bit down. What are you hoping to get from 2009?